Time was, when a doctor had something minor to talk with you about, he would have his receptionist call and advise you, or he would tell you on the phone, himself.



Nowadays they seem to prefer to call you in to the clinic to tell you something tiny... It's annoying and costs me a lot in fuel for my car, and time, just to be told "Oh the results were pretty good, your liver function was normal, your haemoglobin is up to 121, so that's good, but the iron stores are still a bit low, so I want you to keep going on the iron supplements for two more months."



Yeesh, Doc! You made me drive 7.6km just to tell me that?



Still, I am glad the liver is back to normal, that result had me a little worried, last time.



But seriously, he couldn't do this by phone? Of course not. Then he wouldn't get paid the $50 for my visit! *shakes head*

Preacher James Montgomery was preaching in Liverpool in 1822 when there was a sudden black out. Panic was about to ensue amongst his listeners until the pastor of the church where he was speaking called out a reassurance: "There is still light within!" The people calmed and Montgomery finished preaching his sermon in the dark.

"There is still light within!"

Such true words and just the reminder I needed last night. Facing a call back to my doctor in relation to blood test results, I was letting myself be swamped by feelings of anxiety, to the point of panic. Last time I had blood taken there was a problem with my liver function and my mind went round and round on this point, fretting over the possible outcome.

Then I read this story about James Montgomery and the words "There is still light within!" leaped out at me.

When all around me seems dark and hopeless; when everything seems to be getting worse instead of better; when it seems as though there is no light: "There is still light within."

I must try to remember that the source of my light and hope does not come from earthly knowledge, from medicine or from men. It is derived from that inner light which shines on despite the outer circumstances.

Let me ever draw my solace, my consolation, strength and hope from that inner source before I turn to eathly knowledge or outer assistance. Those things have their place and are useful, but always--ALWAYS--"There is still light within!"

So this morning when I got up, I had an urge to go and see a movie, so after a small amount of dithering on my part, I decided I'd go and see The Invention of Lying. This is a strange film, but quite interesting. Not sure I entirely agree with the world view and philosophy presented, but I got a few giggles. It is a good film to see if you don't take yourself, or your religious beliefs too seriously.

In other news, I had a call from my doctor's surgery asking me to come in and see my doctor about the results of the blood tests he took on Tuesday. This will either be because my iron is still too low, or because the liver function was abnormal again. This is getting to be annoying. Almost tempted to ask him not to do bloodwork anymore.

Why can't my body just behave and function as it is supposed to function?

Anyway, it is no use worrying about it until I see him and find out what it's about, so now I need to find ways to distract myself so I don't sit here and fret until I see him.

The shopping center (mall) where the movie cinema I went to is, was packed to the rafters with pushy, rude people who can't even say so much as 'excuse me' when they almost knock you over. Reminded me why I do my holiday shopping online.

Oh well, nothing much else to report, so I am gonna go play computer games or something.

I guess I overdid things a bit, yesterday. I keep thinking I should do more reading and fill in the study guides for my course, but even thinking about it makes me feel more tired. I might nap and see if I can't get a little more done this evening.

I really enjoyed yesterday and last night, though even if it did have a price attached to it in terms of my energy levels today. I think also that I took my medication a little too late last night and the effects of that have not entirely worn off yet. So, a nap perhaps, then see how I feel for work in the evening.

*nods* That sounds like a plan.

I have had a very busy day today. I had to go into town to see my doctor for the blood tests he does every few months to check my iron levels etc, so I decided that I would go in early as I had a few other things I wanted to do--one of which was homework the doc gave me to do last time he saw me.

So I left here about 40 minutes before my scheduled appointment time, and went to the dental surgery first to get the information my doctor asked for. Then I walked from there to the local Subway and ordered myself an Ham and Turkey Sub for lunch with a small coke. I only had time, by then, to eat about half the (6") sub, and it was delicious, so I carried it back to my car and put it in the car (parked in the shade) to eat after I saw the doctor.

My doctor was in a good mood and we chatted while he filled in forms for the bloodwork and wrote me a referral for a dental appointment--this is because it's a part of a managed care plan due to my having a chronic illness I can have 5 visits to an allied health care professional in any one calendar year and it is covered by medicare.

I asked him if the baby he and his wife had been expecting last time I saw him had arrived and he seemed pleased I remembered. "Yes! We have a new little daughter. We had one from before, 4 years old, so now we have another one. Some sleepless night, but my wife is well, baby is well so that's the main thing." (I love his accent--he's Dutch).

After leaving the doctor's surgery I went straight to the pathology office and got the blood taken. The girl who took it this time was good and didn't have to go looking for the vein and making multiple attempts, so at least this time I didn't emerge looking like a junkie with needle marks all over my arm like I usually do!

I walked over to the supermarket, and picked up a few small items that I needed to restock on and then back to the car and headed for home.

Thunder muttered in the distance as I locked up the garage. I took a deep breath, smelling the freshly mowed grass and the faint hint of rain on the wind and thanked the universe for a day of accomplishments.

I had been intending to do some more course work when I got home, but the patter of rain on the roof, and the afternoon's exertions decided me that a nap was more to my liking so I climbed into bed and dozed off.

Tonight I have my 'circle' meeting with the ladies from church. That's sure to be fun as always. We will eat too much chocolate, talk up a storm and laugh ourselves to death, but I am soooo looking forward to it!

Today is the first day of my study course and I have already spent about two hours on study and reading through the first reading and making some notes. I'm just taking it slowly and feeling my way. I've made a post on the student discussion board introducing myself and that was a little bit scary. Some of my fellow students have also posted and there is at least one, so far who's not too far away so we might be able to meet up to study together if she is open to that.

I was surprised that I actually understood the first reading. The second one is a tad more daunting and I'm already having a moment about one of the questions in the study guide for it. LOL!

Well, we will see how it goes. I've got the rest of this week to nut this out.

Right now, I am in search of some lunch and a cool place to rest and escape the heat of the day. It is 30c (86f) here and quite humid today! We're expecting some storms in the afternoon though which might help to cool things off a bit.

'Til later!

	What The Bible Says - And Doesn't Say - About Homosexuality
	A 24-page booklet written by the Rev. Dr. Mel White that offers a biblical response to the question people often ask: "How can you consider yourself a Christian when you are also gay?"

I downloaded this booklet from the soulforce.org website yesterday and read it all in about half an hour. It is written by Rev. Dr. Mel White who is a highly trained theological scholar but it is in language that is concise accessible and easy to understand. One of the most important things that I think Dr White brings out in this booklet is that when we read the Bible we ought to be looking for what it says about God, not what it says about sexuality or culture or science. The Bible is not a handbook on sex, it is a book that tells us about God.

His approach is to take the scripture passages most often used against homosexuals and ask the reader to set aside his or her preconceived notions, looking at them in light of what they teach about God rather than what they teach about sex.

My favorite quote:

Even when we believe the Scriptures are “infallible” or “without
error,” it’s terribly dangerous to think that our understanding of
every biblical text is also without error. We are human. We are fallible.
And we can misunderstand and misinterpret these ancient
words—with tragic results.
"What the Bible Says -- And Doesn't Say -- About Homosexuality" Page 7

I recommend this booklet to anyone who is interested in an honest discussion of what the Bible says about God and Homosexuality.

You can download a free .pdf copy of this booklet from: http://www.soulforce.org/pdf/whatthebiblesays.pdf

Yesterday was a beautiful day, both in the natural, weather sense and in the activity that I took part in. My Church held a psychic healing and reading day and I decided to go up there to help out in the kitchen making sandwiches for the readers and healers working there and just to be there with my friends.

As I walked into the little building. (it's held in the local Country Women's Association Hall) I was struck by the beautiful energy that filled the room. Back in my Evangelical Christian days, this energy would be referred to has "Holy Spirit" I think that it is a sacred energy for certain, and have no problem at all with calling it Holy Spirit. My fellow church members refer to this energy as "Spirit" or just "Light energy" and I am happy for it to be called those names as well.

I've had a couple of really fuzzy headed days. Yesterday was the worst, but it is still hanging around today and I am hating it because it makes me feel completely useless. My head spins at the simplest concepts and I can't focus on anything. *sigh*

No doubt it is medication related--at least I hope it is. *rolls eyes* I have a feeling I may have missed a dose somewhere along the track--maybe more. I really need to keep better track of it. I used to have a little box--in fact, I still have it, marked with the days of the week and I would put my pills for each day in there to make sure I took them.

The reason I don't use it anymore is because the lids on some of the days were so tight that I would rip my fingernails off trying to open them!

I need to see if I can get a new one that has more easily opened lids.

I pity my poor partner who has to try and live with me when I get like this.

Yesterday I got my cat microchipped. Not that Solly ever goes outside the house except on a harness and leash, but because the local council has introduced new laws about registration for cats as well as dogs now, I got her done because registration is free for pensioners if the animal is desexed and microchipped. Solly has been desexed since she reached maturity, so that will make the registration thing a little easier to bear, even though I see no need for it with an animal that's never allowed outside the house!

On Tuesday night, after my discussion group, I was meditating on what we'd talked about, and on my own spiritual path and I thought how nice it would be to find some 'spiritual' music that I could really connect with.

No sooner had my thought touched the universe than a reply came drifting through my mind. "Scripture in Song."

My goodness! I had not even thought about SIS since the 80s and wondered if the company still even exists. Well a google search soon revealed that although David and Dale Garratt have turned in a new direction with their music (now called New Sound) they do still offer all the SIS albums in digital format via iTunes!

I am planning to download them as time and finances permit. In the meantime, Sandra dug out a bunch of old cassette tapes of hers that have many of SIS's songs on them so I am listening to them. They are a little worn with age, and I get some distortion in some of the songs, but it's been wonderful, letting my spirit bathe in these as they connect me back to my very early days as a Christian when things were so simple.

I like Hillsong, too, but lately their music has grated on my nerves in some respects, so I felt the need to just go back to something familiar and simple.

Okay, that's all for today.

Love and Light!

I have had one of the most interesting weekends this week, and I am just blown away with how the universe arranges things so that you will be in the right place, at exactly the right moment. I'm so encouraged and blessed tonight, as opposed to how I have felt for at least two weeks prior. I want to warn any of my Christian friends who read this, that I am going to rant, just a little bit about evangelical churches. This is not aimed at anyone that I know online but it is something I need to express -- it's about churches not individual people. K?

I am reposting this post from Anthony Venn-Brown's Facebook, because I believe that everyone needs
to hear this sermon. Gay Straight, Old, Young, Christian or not. Don't just blow this off; it's only available for one week.
This is the beginning of a new thing in Australia I think.

This is hope!

The Message We Have Been Waiting to Hear

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Yesterday at 14:40

The message I've been waiting to hear from a Pentecostal pulpit in Australia happened on the weekend. Ps Rob Buckingham from Bayside Church in Melbourne preached a message of love and acceptance for GLBT people. At the Saturday night service the congregation gave him a standing ovation. You can download the MP3 or listen to the message online here http://www.baysidechurch.com.au/index2.php?option=com_podcast&feed=RSS2.0&no_html=1

It will only be available for a week.

It is so encouraging to find those within the Christian Church who have been willing to ask to important questions. There is definitely a new climate of questioning and humility in some circles. For this we are very grateful. The two questions many are asking are.

1. Has the churches attitude towards the GLBT community been reflective of God's love?

2. Is it possible that the churches beliefs about same sex orientation been in error?

Whilst I've been in dialogue with many church leaders both in Australia and overseas, I've often wondered who'd be the first brave person to tell the truth about their new understandings in such a public way.

God has given Ps Rob the insight, courage and grace to create a new world for so many GLBT people that will bring healing and empower others to do things better in the future. This message will literally save lives and contribute enormously to end the unnecessary suffering experienced by GLBT people who are still in churches as well as those who have left.

Sincerely from my heart Rob I want to say thank you……and on behalf of the many 1,000's of us who have struggled to find answers to the perceived conflict between our faith and our sexuality…often in a hostile environment…....I also say thank you.

A standing ovation….is a powerful affirmation by the congregation of Pastor Rob's message. The same thing happened to the 100 Revs who marched in the Mardi Gras parade in 2008. People stood to their feet and applauded the brave ministers who were marching to say sorry for the churches treatment of and attitude towards the GLBT community.

Sometimes our focus on the negatives and the right wing Christian extremists blurs our vision....but we should also realise that behind the scenes a quiet revolution is happening. Every now and then it surfaces as it did this weekend. Congratulations to Ps Rob and his congregation. .....and of course a thank you to those who are still in the questioning stage......how can we serve you as you seek greater understanding about our lives.

I've spent the past few days working on this project and I am really quite pleased with how it has turned out. The necklace won't fit anyone other than a child, unless you like your necklaces tight! I can see my mistakes, but I wonder if anyone else will. hehe (Jenn?)

This was fun. The kit I bought has a few other necklaces etc, but I think I will need to buy more wire because I need to make the bracelets and necklets bigger than the instructions call for, for my wrists and neck!

10 years meme
*Think back to ten years ago on this month.
*Write truthful answers and ELABORATE. This makes it more interesting!
*It's about personal changes. Have fun with it!


THEN: October 1999

1. Age:
36

2. Romantic Status:
I was married to the Italian psychopath, but there was nothing romantic about it.

3. Occupation:
Student/SAHM

4. Fun night out:
No such thing

5. My BFFs:
Sarah

6. I spent way too much time:
trying to make a poisonous marriage less toxic

7. I spent not enough time:
Paying attention to my kids. Especially the youngest.

8. I wanted to be when I grew up:
A pastor...didn't get there. :(

9. Biggest concern:
Depression

10. What my biggest concern should have been:
My kids

11. Where did I live:
Brisbane

12. Dumbest thing I did that year:
Didn't get a divorce

13. If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say:
This is not going to kill you, and you won't believe how different it will be ten years from now!


NOW: October 2009

1. Age:
46

2. Romantic Status:
In a committed relationship with Sandra

3. Occupation:
Author

4. Fun night out:
My 'witching' circle on Tuesday nights (we're not actually Wiccan, or witches, that's just what we call ourselves)

5. My BFFs:
Sandra, Marilyn, Wendy, Linda, Bev

6. I spend way too much time:
Slacking off on the net

7. I spend not enough time:
Writing

8. I want to be when I grow up:
A Pastor--can't see how/where, though.

9. Biggest concern:
Low iron (again)

10. What my biggest concern should be:
Nope, that's what I should be concerned about.

11. Where do I live:
Sunshine Coast, Australia

12. Dumbest thing I have done this year:
Missed my flight home from Adelaide in July DOH! Dumb, and COSTLY!

13. What I think I would say to myself in 10 years:
You're over half-way there!

SUMMARY:

1. What do I miss most from 1999:
Not a thing!

2. What do I miss least from 1999:
Almost everything

3. What have I accomplished in 10 years that I am most proud of:
Publishing my books.

4. What have I NOT accomplished in 10 years that I wish I had:
Hmmmm, can't think of anything.

• ONE: Don't miss the boat.
• TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!
• THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
• FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
• FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
• SIX: Build your future on high ground.
• SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
• EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
• NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
• TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
• ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

So, last night, I again visited the AOG Church which I went to last Sunday night. This time, T, a friend of mine from Freedom2b came along for the ride to check out the church. It felt good to have some moral support.

I was not as nervous going in this time as the territory was not as unfamiliar to me as last time, though I think it cost my friend a great deal of courage to walk in there, given that in the car park we'd met someone who knew him from the past and the reception had been--stilted I guess is the best word for it. Without revealing too much detail, I can say that my friend is also gay and has some history with church and church circles which has been a little more rocky than my own. 'Nuff said.

I've always had a fascination with, and a love for dragonflies. when I was a small child, I remember we had a fishpond in the backyard of our house. Dad had planted water lillies and other plants in the water to help shade the fish in summer and to oxygenate the water.

As well as serving those important functions, the plants also attracted dragonflies and I would spend many hours sitting crosslegged on the lawn, watching them swoop and dart around the plants and the water. They were probably depositing their eggs there too, since they spend the first part of their lives as water nymphs.

It wasn't until many years later that I became aware that the dragonfly has a deeper, spiritual significance and might have been sent to me on various occasions throughout my life as a message or as a reminder to me of deeper things.

In spiritual symbology, the dragonfly speaks to us of transformation and rebirth, just as the butterfly does. Because it spends half of its life under water as a nymph, it talks to us of spirit, emotion and flow.

Having multifaceted eyes, gives the dragonfly the ability to see things from many different angles and this reminds us, in a spiritual sense, to look at things from another angle, or to try to see a different point of view.

The body and wings of the dragonfly refract and reflect light in many different colors, making the dragonfly appear bright green or blue but the structures in the insect's body that enable this only develop with age. This serves as a reminder that with maturity, our true colors will show through as well.

Last year a very dear friend of mine went to Spain. While she was there, she bought me a beautiful dragonfly pendant which she sent to me for my birthday. It is green and silver with a faux emerald set in the middle of it's body. I wear it when I go to my spiritualist church on Monday nights where the significance of it is understood and appreciated by my circle.

When my friend went to France earlier this year, she bought me another dragonfly pendant. This one is silver and turqoise and is strung on a turquoise organza ribbon. I love them both very much and feel that they were not sent to me by coincidence.

Sadly, last Monday night while getting ready for church, I dropped the green one on the floor and one of its wings broke off. It's currently at the jewelers for repairs.

It might be just a cheap trinket to anyone else, but with the lifelong and spiritual significance of dragonflies for me, I wasn't just going to accept it was broken and set it aside. For me, the fact that it has been broken and repaired is all the more significant as I continue my walk on this journey, a little broken in places, a little flawed and maybe with a spot of glue here and there to hold my wings on...but still getting there.

Love and Light!

It seems to have been a day for housekeeping all round today. I vacuumed and mopped all the tiled floors throughout the house, and tidied up my domains online, and did some admin work on the Freedom2b(e) forums, so everything is all neat and tidy and my brain is in a fuzz!

It is always nice, though to have things tidy and clean.

I think that this applies as much in a spiritual sense as it does in a physical and mental one. When I clean out my old thought patterns and expectations relating to God and spirituality, it leaves me with a clean space in which I can examine new thoughts and idealogies. That's always nice. I tend to learn something each time I do that.

I have decided that I will go back to the AOG again this coming Sunday night, and this time I will have a friend along for the ride, all going well. It will be nice to have a little moral support.

Not much else to say so I will sign off til next time.

Love and Light!